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A poem written for a painting by Phyllis Bluhm.  My interpretation of the meaning of her poem is that the images reflect the reality for Palestinians forced to flee, or killed by their oppressors, or whose lands are destroyed by the oppressors, others whose grandparents were forced out, but who still hold the keys to their ancient homes.

 

In the night, lantern-lit windows shine onto streets 
and well-worn paths. Stories emerge…

One
She and her child have come home in the dark of night
to her family, refugees in a foreign land.
Tears of welcome, arms of warmth greet them.
She and her child had been prey in a dangerous land
full of horror and fire and death.
They are the lucky ones who escaped.
They will live to tell their stories,
to sing the songs of their ancients,
to beat the drums of truth-telling when the time is right.
Their bodies may seem whole, unscathed,
but their souls will be in grief and turmoil and fear
for many moons of time.

Two
Two sisters meditate upon an ancient key.
This key unlocks their family's centuries-old door,
perhaps weathered by time and war.
But the welcoming door exists in another place, another time.
And that door might now be the residence
of the thief who stole the house,
or the door may not even exist after so many moons,
after so many seasons of fear and flight.
Will they ever be able to return?

Three
A man reaches up his arms in supplication.
He mourns his love though she is right there before him.
She is wounded, dying, and her face looks to the night sky.
She knows she is soon to be leaving her body
to rise to the sanctity of the stars.
She feels the pull of light on the path to the beyond,
which we, still living, can never perceive.
He also knows her soul shall live on,
that she will always be with him, even if just in his mind's eye
and as a strain of melody in his beating heart.
A forlorn future awaits: He may not survive either.
And who will mourn him if he dies?
He is the last of his family to be alive.

Four
Someone stands alone, his family’s home and belongings
burning before him.
He wonders, with streaming tears and a heavy heart,
“How could I lose that which I built with my own hands?
Why did they destroy what was so beautiful,
so much a part of this place?”
Will he walk away from this destruction,
or will he turn and fight,
One man against an oppressor of immense power,
whose eye lacks a soul.

Epilogue
Why?
We ask ourselves that question
and there will be no good answer,
for the only useful question is:
What shall be humanity’s answer when asked
to witness, to save, to mourn, to heal?

Understanding insurgency in regards to Palestine, here is a poem.


Vietnam.
Ireland.
South Africa.
Palestine.
The First Peoples of all the "Americas",
The First Peoples of Pacifica,
The First Peoples down under,
And so many others.
We label the "natives" terrorists when they are insurgents...
Which is "those who rise up, who surge up"--
intifada--
uprising
in urgency,
taking agency.

My Zionist family members ask
"But what about Hamas?"
Or
"Do you hate Hamas or
Do you just hate Israel?"

As if hating insurgents is some badge of honor,
As if loving a fascist Israel would be some way
of honoring my Jewishness.

My Jewishness is honored only
By standing up for humanity,
Even when that humanity is not my kin.

My Jewishness is honored only
By engaging with empathy and compassion.

My Jewishness is honored only
By saying "Never again for ANYONE".

My Jewishness is honored only
By acknowledging that
I'm only one part of a puzzle of peoples
Who populate this planet.
The more that oppressors
Burn the puzzle pieces,
The more we all become
Less than our true possibilities.

Israel as a construct is a puzzle of
People with huge burnt pieces,
Charred and scarred by the fires of greed and oppression,
Covered over with false pine that tries to obliterate
the evidence of millenia-old villages.

Here imagine some pictures:

Indoctrinated Israeli schoolchildren rejoicing
at the future their heads are being filled with...
"And what will you be when you grow up?"
"A soldier! And I will kill all the Arabs!"

Or a settler in the West Bank
dropping chemicals and dog poop into Palestinian wells,
Or a Zionist terrorist in 1948
who poisons wells with diphtheria and typhus,
Or an IOF soldier breaking the arm
of a Palestinian 12-year-old while dragging the child
to illegal detainment, solitary, and sexual abuse.

And yes, here are dead young people at Nova,
Killed by insurgents, but also by Israel's Hannibal doctrine.

Or here is my American Jewish “Aliyah” elder cousin,
given a false birth right,
living in his retiree apartment with a bomb bunker
because Israel's brutality creates a resistance
that will randomly send a jerryrigged bomb anywhere it can
to deter the oppressor--
only someone with an occupier’s power could build a "safe room"
or a walled community to protect them
from the dehumanized and disenfranchised "bad operators".

It is true that the anger of the oppressed is not a pretty thing:
It is a harrowing cry of utter exhaustion and perseverance spat out
as the last resort of trying to ensure survival
by overthrowing the devouring giant, the Goliath,
who refuses to see the threads
of human connection and devours its siblings.

Here are more pictures…

Gazan Children,
burnt and trembling in shock,
Or arms or legs missing,
Or gray with death and dried blood,
Or a 2-pound premie breathless in an incubator
when power was shut off;

Or Gazan women, pregnant with possibility
But then sniped and bulldozed into oblivion,
With the future of their people obliterated
By some 20-year-old IOF soldier who thinks
It's a game of whack a mole;

Or a Gazan woman holding a prized diploma in medicine
But with no hospital to heal the sick;

Or a Gazan man,
Perhaps priest, or professor, or poet,
Obliterated with his whole family
lest the wisdom and knowledge of being Palestinian
be passed into posterity.

And this land will never be whole
Until it is free from the grasping hands of Western greed.
And this land will never be whole
Until it is a democracy for all,
Palestinian or Jew,
Brown, or Black, or White,
Worshipping as Christian, or Jew, or Muslim,
Or following no faith at all.
And this land will never be whole
Until from the river to the sea
It is a Palestine that is free.

Cosmic

This song is written from the perspective of a seeker in space (outer space?), someone looking for connection, but floating and lost. Where is that someone to be grounded with, to love, to share with…

***

Turned around and upside down

Turned around and upside down

My feet don’t touch the ground

And while it’s beating hard

My heart won’t make a sound

And the blood in my veins

Flows ever round and round.

***

Floating in a cosmic stardust

Seeking an answer, searching for truth

Asking who am I, or am I just

Another bit of mud and bone and sinew.

Feeling all the anguish, Feeling all the love lust,

Feeling all the pain, Feeling all the heat rush in my brain.

***

Spiraling endlessly in space

Looking for a human hand to hold,

Seeking eternity’s embrace,

Looking for connection in the cold.

Feeling all the anguish, Feeling all the love lust,

Feeling all the pain, Feeling all the heat rush in my brain.

***

I would touch you under the stillness of the stars

I would kiss you in the darkness of the night

I would hold you in the sunshine of the day

Even alone, I’d be alive inside your light.

I would touch you under the stillness of the stars

I would kiss you in the darkness of the night

I would hold you in the sunshine of the day

Even alone, I’d be alive inside your light.

***

Falling heartfirst onto your ground

Trusting what I see in you is true,

Letting my love song be the sound

Of my soul standing naked before you.

Feeling all the anguish, Feeling all the love lust,

Feeling all the pain, Feeling all the joy rush in my brain.

***

I touch you under the stillness of the stars

I kiss you in the darkness of the night

I hold you in the sunshine of the day

Even alone, I am alive inside your light.

I touch you under the stillness of the stars

I kiss you in the darkness of the night

I hold you in the sunshine of the day

Even alone, I am alive inside your light.

***

You can hear the song demo here:

For Joy (10/12/1947 - 03/08/2020)

My sister asked for a chocolate cake
And so I baked her one
With chocolate frosting and nothing out of the ordinary.

She was just recovered from fluid on her lungs
Aspirated the day after Thanksgiving.

Now, at home in her dining room,
She had the breath to appreciate 
The chocolate deliciousness.

Ten weeks later, she was lying in her hospital bed,
Cancer exploding throughout all her parts.
She was mostly delirious,
But was willing to take in some cold chicken soup.
I fed her, 
Small spoonful by small spoonful--
Her last meal.

I wish she were here to bake me popovers
And a cocoa carrot cake.

I want to revel with her in the sweet berries salad we'd often share
Or hear her joy at me playing the harp
And see her dab at her eyes when I sang a sad song.

I see your smile, Joy--a reflection of my crooked one.
But, where did you go?

What is the plague,
what is the plague?

Is it the virion? Is it the germ?
Or is it callous disregard
For those different and infirm?
Is it the offspring of Narcissus
Who see their reflection in
The vain Gods of progress?

What is the plague,
what is the plague?

We were living, we are dying,
And the selfish keep denying
It's a plague we are defying.
We were dying, but we're surviving
The plague of righteous fascists
Who've been wickedly conniving.

What is the plague,
What is the plague?

We are living in a test
Of our resilience at its best.
So we hope, and strive, and pray
To make it through another day
Hunkering down, and turning away
From touch we crave every which way.

What is the plague,
What is the plague?

We cry at needless loss
When lives we love become the tossed
Bodies in cold cold containers
As the dross of sycophancy
bill for their ridiculous retainers
As we become the pawns in necromancy.

What is the plague,
What is the plague?

The plague is human hubris,
Pride of place and pride of stature,
With souls that are infractured
By the synapses of greed and callous
Disrespect for the being that is earth
And the beings that have worth.

Greed is the plague,
Greed is the plague.

True gifts of light. Do try this at home if you wish!

I led a pre-Christmas group at work last week that I do every year at this time. I ask: what is a gift you’d give yourself, one you’d give to those you love, one you’d give a stranger, one you’d give the group, and one you’d give the world–remember, these are gifts that do not cost money, so think “outside the 🎁”. But I preface this with, what is a similar gift someone(s) once gave you that has helped you in life.

In this spirit of giving and acknowledging such gifts, for this holiday season, I give myself a pat on the back for being patient with life and acceptance of my circuitous path. I give my loved ones many, many, many hugs and kisses (if they want them), my attempts at being non-judgmental, and my time. I give a stranger my work as a volunteer helping families with breastfeeding babies and occasionally helping someone carry something down the street. I give my colleagues(my group) suggestions (only when asked for) and the wisdom of my experience (only when asked for). I give the world my music because I can’t help it and I can’t help it any other way.

And gifts I’ve been given: my mother gave me her altruism, the love of words and grammar and scrabble, and the love of poetry and her faith in my music. My father gave me his talent with numbers and sounds (he was a sonar engineer) and the love of puns and Pi. My husband has given me his patience (sometimes) and a steadfast love and the best father I could have for my children. My children have given me a reason to be proud and the sheer enjoyment of being with them and seeing them grow to be such thoughtful and caring souls (and a huge dollop of attempts at being patient when they drove me nuts). My sister gave me a home when I was needy and an appreciation of beauty and her love of my music. My brother gave me the joy of driving fast and a love of art on paper. My nieces and nephews have given me the gift of listening. My wider family and friends have given me love, people to play with (scrabble, walks on the beach, music) and the joy of connection.

I’m glad I can be grateful.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Dusty Confusion

I have been sleepwalking in a dusty confusion
while my soul longs for the clarity of transcendence.
I retreat into my room, fall into my bed, weary.
Sleep comes to me, 
heavy with fatigue and melancholy. 
I dream of wordless, menacing beings
who attempt to destroy me.
I wake myself from the rush of fear
before I die this dream death. 
I lie there in and out of fitful unconsciousness. 
“Why do you sleep?”
says a Voice at the edge of my awareness.
“Don't forget me,” I say in my anguish.
“Come to the door and greet me.”
"Hello", says the Voice. 
I say, "Come in". 
A gentle hand wrestles
with the tangled bedclothes
of my consciousness, 
letting in a sliver of light
under the blanket of darkness.
The Voice, warm and honeyed, soothes into my ear:
"Open your eyes, the lights will guide you.
They shine on the pathway to wherever you are heading."
A star, shining in my head, seems to say:
"Be just, be kind, be loving.
Watch and learn.
Choose."
From a place of green, warm, enfolding comfort deep inside me,
I hear my own voice:
"Open your heart and mind
and your mouth will sing, spilling out
an evanescent music which bubbles forth
a thousand spirits chanting
like flutes, like bells, like chimes,
like gongs of goodness.
Open your arms and hands
and your fingers will become feathered wings,
fanning out seeds of change
with a whoosh upon the wind."
***
I open my eyes.
I arise.
I stretch off the dusty sleep of the shadows.
I draw over my shoulders
the many-hued scarves of sensation.
I let fear be simply one color of the cloak I wear.
***
My feet follow the trail of the Voice.

Pain and suffering–
pinch, tweak, itch, ache, throb, soreness–
Human condition.

Rubbing in the salve–
With a touch or stroke on skin;
Is this true relief?

Deep inhale of air–
Energy wanders to cells,
Breath is half the cure.

Inspired by Rick Berry, a painter whose figures are unabashed, but not always as curvy as the mature woman in this poem.

A woman–
She dances in the morning light
In the power of her unabashed curvature–
The full breast, the round stomach,
The tender rosy tint of her skin
In the glow of the rising sun.

Hers is the beauty of having labored,
Confident in the strength of her body
That more than once released a newborn,
Wet with the blood and fluid of her womb
Then held upon her warm sweaty midriff
And welcomed with fresh milk into
A legacy of human struggle.

These she nurtured with love and soft arms.
This dance now is to reclaim her rhythm.
She moves with the pulse of the drum
As if it’s her own heartbeat.
She feels the deep strum of bass
As if it’s the earth’s ground.
She sighs with the high breathy flute
As if it’s the cloud on which she floats.

There is sinew under her soft supple skin.
Her body’s muscles echo the millions of ancestral mothers
Who have come before her bearing two-limbed fruit
And daring to strive forth daily in tasks and joys.
She sinks into all her senses.
She smells the oil of amber and rose upon her wrist.
She feels the warmth of sunlight upon her face.
She tastes a ripe peach and rejoices in its juice.
Her feet, touching bare upon the ground, stomp to the beat of drum.
She sees sky, grass, flower, a child’s face, and a man’s weathered yet longed-for visage.
She hears her own voice singing in sympathy with the music’s rhythm
And her heart cries for beauty in all and in awe.

She dances life and death and life again–
A woman.

Resurrection Song

Written last Easter while thinking about where the world seems to be in terms of the daily incredulities. If we sing together, there is hope…

* * * * *

We despair at every horror, every lie, and every scandal;
We hold on by a single thread, or by a greasy handle,
We think we’ve heard it all until we hear what’s worse once more.
Until we feel we’re falling as if right through the floor.
Listen through the static and you will hear a song
Take a breath and catch the note and start to sing along…

Chorus:
The goodness of humanity will shine a welcome light
With an open door in every coldest, deepest, darkest night
With voices chanting every truth, 10 to the power of 10,
And hearts with boundless love will surely rise again,
Rise again, rise again, will surely rise again.

Close your eyes and open your ears to hear an insistent sound,
A persistent, swelling chorus, with an echo coming round,
Every note that’s sounded like the ringing of a bell,
Crowds of people proclaiming we have truth to tell.
Listen through the static and you will hear a song
Take a breath and catch the note and start to sing along…
Chorus…

Weary feet in vict’ry will walk soft where meanness tread.
The shelter for the hapless will make up another bed
The harbor for the stranger will open up its gate
And souls with wounded hope will overthrow the hate.
Listen through the static and you will hear a song
Take a breath and catch the note and start to sing along…
Chorus…

* * *
Hear a demo here: SoundCloud Demo Recording